


in the dark (i have no name)

by jacckfrost



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill needs to figure shit out, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Guardian Demon AU, Protective Demons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-20 11:58:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4786505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacckfrost/pseuds/jacckfrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill didn't sign up for this.</p>
<p>(Or the fic where Dot is Mabel's demon guardian and Bill is Dipper's and together they handle Gravity Falls' weird things. They also might fight other demons occasionally??)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chances are if you've watched Gravity Falls you've heard of the Guardian Demons AU started up by starfleetrambo on tumblr. This is coming from their idea and a lot of the info has come from me stalking their blog. We aren't working together on this so none of it is officially official in terms of their AU. I do have permission to be writing this though, before you get worked up.
> 
> I've been super inspired by this AU so I hope I do it justice. Enjoy!

Bill had always been a wanderer. Ever since he was ‘born' he knew he could never stay in just one place; that just one place would never feel like home. Not that he needed a home. He was ademon for god’s (or lake thereof) sake. No, Bill knew what he was meant for; Chaos. Destruction. He was the demon you could count on to travel through different dimensions wreaking as much havoc as he could.

Which is why it was fitting that he was ‘born’ in the dimension that had no problem with chaos. In fact, it was the third most chaotic dimension that he’d ever been to. Which was saying something considering the most chaotic had been nothing but random explosions everywhere. That’d been a good couple of years, though even random chaos could get boring. 

No, organized chaos was where it’s at. No one did organized chaos like the humans of earth. Sure, everything they did seemed to make sense at first glance but that’s the beauty of organized chaos. Superficially it looks like it’s working, it’s underneath it all that the chaos is revealed. 

Watching the humans suffer through there own destruction was one of Bill’s favourite past times. They were all so stupid.

Which is why being ‘born’ in this dimension also brought him just a bit of trepidation. Supposedly every demon is matched with some being in some dimension. Wherever the demon is brought to life is where their being will be at some point. Because Bill was ‘born’ on this lump of rock, it means that his being is some lowly human. If he were to find this human, he would be able to make himself even more powerful. 

It doesn’t sound too bad; sure he’d have to follow around a dumb human but hey, he’d be a super strong demon overlord, right? Wrong. There’s so many stupid steps to being bonded to another being, so many different phases. You’ll get to super strong demon overlord eventually, sure, but that’s only if your being doesn’t die along the way. Yeah, you have to protect them because if they die, so do you, or at least a part of you does. 

Either way, you’re never the same the again.

So being bonded to a human, in Bills opinion, was the worst idea ever. Humans? They’re the most fragile of all the beings that Bill has ever met. They’re made out of the soft stuff called skin that takes forever to grow back and they have this liquid stuff called blood rolling around inside of them. He shivers just thinking about it. Disgusting.

Bill came to with a blink of his eye and looked down at the beings below him.

“Speak of the devil,” he muttered.

Humans littered the streets of some busy city below him as they all made their way to work. They were all so noisy. The cars were noisy, the footsteps were noisy and especially those annoying human voices. Bill rolled his eye, what the hell was he even doing here again? He squinted down at a sign below him.

“Piedmont, huh?” He snorted, “Aaaaand this is why you don’t zone out, Bill.”

He turned to create a portal out of this lame dimension when something blue caught his eye. It was floating in the sky and now that Bill was paying attention, he noticed that it was almost exactly the colour of the sky; a pale blue. It was the couple shades difference that had grabbed Bills attention.  

Bill looked harder and noticed that it wasn’t an it at all but a transdimentional being such as himself. Bill grinned widely and started floating towards the square dude. It wasn’t everyday you got to meet another demon; oh he was so going to enjoy this. 

As he got closer the square dude’s appearance became more apparent. Their eye was the same as his except their pupil was twisted and they wore a little bowler hat instead of his (significantly classier) top hat. In fact, the dude kind of looked like, oh what did the humans always used to carry around? Flopper disk? Flip disk? Flipper disk?

“Floppy disk!” he said and the demon turned to look at him.

“What?” He asked in confusion. 

“That’s what you look like,” Bill smiled.

“I’ll have you know that I- ugh, never mind. I don’t have time for you,” He said, turning around and floating away. 

Bill flew in front of him, “Whoa! Whoa! Hold those horses, we literally have all the time in the world,” he said, smirking.

Square dude looked at him, “You don’t understand. I have to find them!” 

Bill was starting to get a little weirded out by this demon. It wasn’t like demons to be this stressed out. All the demons Bill had ever met were surprisingly laid back. All except this guy apparently. 

“Is it a human?” Bill asked. 

Square dude nodded in affirmative.

“Well you’re in luck buddy! There’s one there,” he said, pointing to a random human on the street, “oh, and one right over there, too. In fact, there’s 6.023 billion that you can choose from.”

Bills helpful helping didn’t seem to be having any effect on this guy, it actually seemed to be making it worse. The square dude’s level of distress seemed to be rising rapidly. 

“I knew you wouldn’t understand! They are my human! My being! I need to find them quickly. It’s already been a couple days and I don’t know how to find them. Everything is so loud here,” he muttered, putting his hands over his ‘ears’.

Square dude’s eye flew open and he dropped his hands. “Do you hear that?” 

“Hmm, I’m gonna go with a nope.”

Square dude spun around slowly, “It’s crying. It’s a baby crying!” With that Square dude took off like a bat out of hell in the opposite direction.

For a split second Bill debated on whether or not to follow him before he made up his mind. He took off after the square, catching up quickly. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do with his time. Besides, he’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t a tad bit curious as to how all this bonding shenanigans worked. 

They flew for only a short while before stopping over the suburbs. Square dude looked around for a couple seconds before flying down into a house near by. The house itself didn’t really stand out from the rest but it was apparently very important to the guy.

As they drifted through the walls, an audible crying could be heard. The room they were in was dark except for a small little yellow lamp illuminating it just a bit. The crying was coming from a crib in the corner and square dude slowly approached it with Bill right behind him. In the crib was a freaky little baby. It was clear that the kid was recently brought into this world, their face was all squished and ugly still. They had stopped crying when the square had started hovering above them and the baby was now looking up at him in interest.

Demons didn’t have mouths in this form but Bill could swear the square dude would be wearing a face splitting grin right now. It was all in the eye. 

“Mabel…” the square dude breathed. Bill looked up above the crib and sure enough the name ‘Mabel’ was spelt out in big bold letters above it. He looked back at the square dude and saw him slowly reaching out to touch the baby girl. When he finally did there was no big boom or a bright flash of light. The square dude did close his eyes for a brief second but still, Bill was a little disappointed. 

There was a small snuffle from the other side of the room and Bill turned to see another crib that he’d missed. He floated over and peered down at the little tyke. This one had a weird mark etched out on his forehead. Bill could’ve sworn he’d seen it before. He looked up above the crib to see the kids name but all that was there was a little sticky note that had “Little Dipper” written on it in cursive. 

The kid blinked open and looked at him before yawning widely. To be honest Bill felt a little offended. As if this kid would ever see anything like him again in his short insignificant life and he had the audacity to yawn at him? He reached down and flicked the little bugger right in the nose and enjoyed the feeling of immense satisfaction when the kid began to cry. Serves him right.  

Square dude rushed over, “What are you doing?"

“Teaching this little human a lesson,” he said, shrugging.

“They’re fragile when they’re this age, you can’t harm them.”

“Oh relax, box head. I just tapped that odd little protruding stub,” Bill said, gesturing to the centre of his face.

 “You mean their nose,” Square dude said as he crossed his arms. 

“That’s it.” He said, snapping his fingers and pointing at the other demon.

“Why are you here anyways?” Square dude asked.

Bill shrugged, “It’s not everyday you get to see a bonding happen. Besides, I was bored.”

The square squinted at him suspiciously before nodding and moving back to hover over the girl’s crib. Bill spared one last glance for the sleeping boy in the crib before moving to join the square.

“So, uh, what does this mean now? For you?” Bill asked, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. The way the square dude was looking at the baby girl like she was his whole world was making him uncomfortable.

“She will be mine and I will be hers. I will protect her with all that I am,” Square dude said.

“…Right,” said Bill, “Well, as fun as that sounds I think I’m going to scram. Enjoy the rest of that kids life.”

“You’re not going to stay?”

“Nah, babysitting isn’t my scene, Floppy Disk.” 

He shot the baby boy in the crib a look and was unnerved to find his eyes wide open and staring at him. The eyes were so clear and innocent; it was disgusting but they came so close to making Bill stay. He turned away from the baby sharply and flew away as fast as he could. He didn’t look back.

 

* * *

 

When Bill found himself in Piedmont, California again, it was not because of Floppy Disk and those twins, ok. He had simply been in the area checking out how the humans were feeling about their destruction this year. They were completely optimistic and in denial about it, as always.  

Bill had found himself overtop those kid’s house and decided it would make his life less boring if he dropped by. He wasn’t sentimental about those kids, at all. He would drop in for five minutes of human conceived time and then be gone in a flash (literally a flash of a portal).

As he flew down to the house he did some quick calculations and realized that it had only been about a year since he’d first been here. As he entered the house he was surprised to see the Square playing with a significantly older Mabel. They were in what humans called the living room which held a small TV with a couch and a chair. Mabel was now quite the little chubby thing with brown mop of hair on her head. The Square dude was holding up a toy for her and was watching her try and grab it.

“Still here, Floppy Disk?” 

The Square dropped the toy in front of Mabel and turned to face Bill with a wide eye. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I was in the area,”Bill said casually. He looked at Mabel and was surprised to find the kid looking straight at him. He jerked his thumb at her, “She can see me?”

The Square looked down at the baby, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned over this past year, it’s that these children are not normal. Dipper can see me as well and he does not fear me.”

“Speaking of the kid, where-“

“He’s just behind the couch. He enjoys napping there for whatever reason.”

Bill floated over the couch and found the kid sitting up by a cushion and rubbing his eyes. He looked exactly like his sister except the odd birthmark on his forehead. The kid looked up at him with wide brown eyes and yawned before crawling around the couch to sit beside his sister.

Bill crossed his arms, “Still with the yawning, Pine Tree?”

“You can see his name?” Square asked.

“Well yeah, it’s shining so bright how could I not?”

Square’s eye crinkled as he looked down at the two kids, “Shooting Star and Pine Tree; quite a pair these two make.”

Bill floated down until he was sitting on the ground and he watched as Dipper turned to look at him. The kid stared at him with more intent than any one year old had any business having. Mabel let out a squeal as Square dude began shifting her toys into different shapes. Square dude laughed as he began changing the colours of the toys and Mabel watched with wide eyes.

“Ugh, Floppy Disk, you’re supposed to be a demon not some child caretaker,” Bill said in disgust.

“For your information, my title is Dot and humans are charming in this phase. I would even call them cute.”

“Cute? God man, look what you’ve become! When was the last time you terrorized a dimension? When you just let loose and heard the screams of the damned.”

Dot got a faraway look in his eye and said, “There comes a time when things like that just aren’t fulfilling.”

Bill rolled his eye but snapped it over to watch as Dipper started crawling over to him. It was completely mental to be afraid of this tiny human child when he himself was a transdimensional powerful demon that could literally bend time and matter to his will but…look at those eyes. They looked so deep and kind of like they were plotting his murder. 

Dipper reached out and grabbed his triangle body and started petting it with his small hands. It was when he started to put his gross mouth on Bill’s _body_ that Bill decided that was enough. He grabbed Dipper by the back of his onesie and stared at him with distaste.

“No biting. Bad human.” Bill said, wagging a finger at the grinning child. “Do you see the amount of sass this little one year old is giving me?” He said to Dot.

Dot looked over, “You should see the amount he’ll give you when he’s older. I guess this’ll be the last time we’ll be seeing you though, won’t it?” 

Bill glared at him, “Who says that?”

Dot sighed, “Well with you being an all powerful demon, I doubt you’d have enough time to see us again.”

Bill plopped the kid down on his stomach, “Weren’t you listening, Floppy Disk? I have all the time that I will ever need. In fact, you’ll see me again just so I can prove that to you.”

Dot nodded slowly, “Well alright them.”

Bill stared at him suspiciously and had the weirdest feeling that he’d just been played.

 

* * *

 

He was here because he’d made a bet with Floppy Disk. There was no other reason. He hadn’t had this nagging feeling in the back of his mind for the odd six years or so that told him he should be with the twins. It was stupid that he was even here but a bet was a bet and that stupid Dot had looked so smug at the time.

As he flew down to the house he heard a shout that sounded oddly like a small child coming from the rear of the house. Bill veered towards the backyard of the house and was a little shocked to see two almost entirely different humans in front of him. Holy crap humans grew up fast. He guessed it was normal for the short insignificant life spans that they had.

As he neared the ground he intentionally bumped into a startled Dot who turned to glare at him, “I was wondering when I’d be seeing you again.”

Bill shrugged, “I had some spare time.”

“…I see,” Dot said as he turned to look at the children.

They were obviously twins alright. They both had brown hair with deep brown eyes and their bone structure was the exact same. Mabel’s hair was cut to her shoulders where it bobbed neatly unlike Dipper’s who had it cut short to his head. They were currently occupying themselves by playing a game that involved one chasing the other around. Dipper was running away from Mabel who was gaining on him. When she caught up to him she landed a solid punch to his arm with a laugh. 

“You’re it!” She cried, revealing a gap toothed smile. 

“Ow! Mabel!” Dipper yelled, rubbing his arm. “That’s not how you play!”

Honestly, Bill’s money was on this Mabel girl. She had spunk and he liked how she thought; bringing violence to an otherwise nonviolent game was how Bill rolled. This Dipper kid seemed kind of like a wimp.

“Look! You made it bruise,” Dipper said as he held out his arm for her to see.

Mabel leaned in to see the bruised flesh before reeling back as Dipper tagged her right in the chest.

“Hah! You’re it!” He cried as he took off running. 

Mabel took off after him but he rounded the corner of the shed and hid. As she sped by he stuck out his leg and caused her to trip. He looked down at his fallen sister and smugly said, “That’s the end of that.”

Bill squinted, maybe he’d have to rethink his opinion on this kid.

Mabel turned to look at Dot and Bill as she pulled herself off the ground. She ran up to them with her brother in tow, “Who are you?” She asked pointing one of her fingers up at Bill.

“The name’s Bill Cypher, kid,” he said taking off his top hat and bowing just a bit.

“How come you’re a triangle?” Dipper asked.

“I dunno, how come you’re a humanoid with a less than functioning body?” Bill answered. What? Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers.

“What’re you doing here?” Mabel asked.

“You’re, um,” he gestured at Dot.

“Guardian!” Mabel supplied helpfully.

“…uh, yeah, guardian. He made a bet with me that I wouldn’t come back so I, of course, had to show him that I would.”

 “Oh,” Mabel said, drawing the word out, “are we gonna be seeing you lots?”

“Ugh,” Bill looked away awkwardly as he scratched the back of his head. He looked to Dot for help but he just gazed back at him with interest. What an asshole. “Well, probably not.”

“Why not?” Dipper asked as he stared up at Bill with large brown eyes.

Bill rolled his eye, “Because, kid. I’m a busy guy.”

“Busy doing what?”

“Busy scaring kids like you!” Bill felt himself grow huge and his voice deepen. He smirked as both kids ran into the house screaming.

After he returned to his normal size Dot shot him a wry glance. 

“Was that necessary?” Dot asked.

Bill shrugged, “Kid started getting too nosy.”

Dot turned to look at the door the twins had entered, “Yes, I’ve found that Dipper has always been the inquisitive one, while Mabel is content to watch events unfold without interfering.”

He looked back at Bill, “Do you plan on returning, however?”

Bill looked away. Somehow without him realizing it, this stupid group had found a way into his life. There was no reason to stay in theirs, they were going to pass just like any other mortal being. He’d allowed this little game to go on for too long as it was.

“Nope. There’s no reason, Gramps. Like I said, I’m a busy guy.”  

He gave a mock human solute before opening a portal out of this world. Just before his portal closed, he glimpsed Dot shaking his head. What an asshole.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, sorry I took so long to update. I do have a full time job with changing shifts so it's not really for sure when I'll be able to sit down and write. Expect a week to two weeks in between every update. That's the best I can do, sorry!
> 
> This chapter was stupid hard to write for whatever reason but it's here. Again, all the characters that you don't recognize are starfleetrambo's. Enjoy!

It was a tactical retreat. Bill wasn’t running away from someone as despicable as _her_. He just knew his limits. He was running dangerously low in the energy department and trust him, running out of energy is one thing that is not fun. You revert back to this bodiless being that barely exists. It takes years to become even a basic shape which is the most energy efficient form. 

As he floated aimlessly over wherever human region this was, he was almost vibrating with anger. It was taking a lot of effort to keep from exploding into a literal ball (triangle) of rage. How dare she tell him he didn’t have enough power. How dare she threaten to take what was his. The earths destruction belonged to him. He had been watching the humans carefully cultivate their own destruction since their creation.

He was damn well going to be the one to end their existence. 

Because Bill was a wise demonic being, he knew that the real reason for his anger was because she did have the power to take it all from him. She’s an older demon than he is; she was created far earlier than he was. She’s had way more time to cultivate energy and she could easily steal the destruction of the earth from him if she wished.

Bill so regretted running into her. Why did other demons have to be just as malicious as he is? 

Dot sprang to mind quickly. He wasn’t malicious; he was too busy playing babysitter with his human to have any evil thoughts.

Bill’s eye widened. His human.

Could he even find them? Are they even alive? He seriously has no idea how this bonding business takes place. He only knows that the place you're born in is the place your being will be. 

The most important question he must ask himself is - is it worth it?

Humans are such fragile creatures. They are so easy to kill; their bodies are all mushy. They don’t even have any cool claws or teeth to defend themselves. The first humans were much more fierce. These humans care more about how they look than their own survival.

If his human were to die, it would forever leave Bill scarred. A part of him would die along with the human. He’s not sure what exactly that means but it sounds absolutely terrible. But if he were to meet his human and bond (ugh) with them, he’d know power that would far exceed that stuck up star face’s. He’d also be able to change forms which sounds kinda cool.

Bill looked down beneath him; he seemed to be overtop a dense forest area. To his right there was a road winding through the trees with a few cars driving on it. He watched a family talking amicably in a car for a while before he looked away.

Right now, he really only had two options. He could turn away and keep living his existence as he has been and forget about the planet called earth, or he could use this as a chance to change it all up. Take his existence into his own hands and shake it up.

With his mind made up, he let gravity take him to earth. How bad could living without a part of yourself be? As long as he had is charm and dashing good looks, he’d be fine.

He landed in the middle of the forest and looked around. The shadows cast by the pine and oak trees gave the forest a creepy look. The sun that was streaming through the dense branches did little for light. A deer in front of him dashed out from behind a bush and disappeared into the darkness of the forest.

Bill put his hands on his hips, “If I were a being of pure energy that could exist in multiple places at once, where would I be?”

He started guiding through the forest slowing, “Duane! Duane, it’s me, your favourite demon!”

After a couple minutes of no response Bill sighed, why do pandimensional beings always play hard to get?

“Come out, come out wherever you are, Duane! I need guidance, or whatever,” Bill muttered.

“Duane! Here little owl!” Bill whistled. After more minutes of complete silence, Bill was started to get irked.

“Hoot, hoot, motherf-

“Hello, Bill,” a light voice said from behind him.

Bill whirled to find a giant brown owl sitting on a branch just above him. If owls could look annoyed, he’d say Duane looked it.

“Duane! How you doing, buddy ol’ pal? How’s the whole enforcing the laws of the multiverse going?”

Duane just looked down at him with those creepy eyes of zirs. Regular eyes of an owl are what? Yellow? Brown? Not Duane’s. Duane’s eyes were literally the universe. A deep black with little points of light, and if you looked hard enough, you might be able to see the swirl of a galaxy or two.

“What can I do for you, Bill?” Duane asked.

“Right. Well, I’m sure you’ve heard of what happened recently…”

“Would you be referring to the fight between you and Kryptos that caused an earthquake in the human world?”

“Ok, first of all, she started it! She’s trying to take the humans destruction from me which I’ve claimed since humans first found out about fire.”

“And you wish to stop her.”

“Yeah, by finding my human and bonding with them. Or whatever.”

“What you seek to do is no little task, Bill. It takes human years to fully cultivate a bond with your being.”

Bill waved his hand, “Years? Please, I’ll do it in a couple weeks.”

Duane sighed, “So if you’ve already made up your mind, what did you need me for?”

“How do I find them? How do I even know if their alive? How do I bond with them?”

“Bonding with your being is having trust in one another. Bonding is appealing to each other. You will be their guardian, they must have faith in you to protect them. As for how to find them, I believe Dot Matrix will be of some help in that department.”

“Floppy Disk? How could he help me find my human? He’s got one of his own to look after!”

But Duane was already fading out of this dimension, “You can do it, Bill.”

“Thanks for the encouragement, you stupid owl,” he muttered under his breath when Duane had fully disappeared. 

Bill took a big breathe and felt freedom for the last time before he flew out of the eerie forest.

 

* * *

 

It had only taken a couple days to find them. The first thing he’d done was go to their house in Piedmont but he’d found it empty of children and demons. He’d done a little recon and found that the kids had been sent to Gravity Falls, a little town up north in Oregon. From there it wasn’t hard to find a man by the name of Stan Pines or where he lived in the Mystery Shack.

That’s where he was now, headed towards this shack. He could see the Mystery Shack fast approaching; it was a small little house made of wood with a giant sign that said ‘Mystery Shack’. It looked pretty shabby and in need of an extensive renovation if you asked Bill.

He stopped and listened for a second and could hear what sounded like the twins’ voices coming from the attic. And where ever the twins were, Dot would be close by. He flew up to the attic window and looked around the small room. Two beds were pushed up against opposite walls with the window in between them. A closet was on the right wall and the back wall held the door and a curtain that covered what Bill assumed was attic junk.

The twins were arguing over something when Bill floated in through the window. Both twins’ heads snapped up and Bill smirked at their stunned expressions.

“Did ya miss me?” Bill asked.

Dot pulled himself off of Mabel’s headband where Bill assumed he’d been conserving power. “What are you doing here, Bill?” He asked.

“Looking for you, Floppy Disk,” Bill said, pointing at Dot.

“For me? Why?”

“Well, I’ve been talking to Duane-

“Duane?”

“Yeah, me and zir are buddies. Anyways, ze says you’ll help me find my human.”

“And why, all of a sudden, are you interested in finding your human?” Dot asked, crossing his arms.

“Um,” Bill pointedly looked at Dipper and Mabel and then back to Dot.

Dot turned to the twins, “Mabel, Dipper, why don’t you go downstairs?”

“Is everything ok, Dot?” Mabel asked uncertainly. Dot nodded.

Dipper nodded once and turned to leave; he grabbed Mabel who seemed to be a bit more hesitant to leave. He pulled her towards the door and they exited the room.

Dot turned towards him, “Now, what’s happened?”

 

* * *

 

 

Dot rubbed at his eye, “So let me get this straight, you want to find your human to gain power to defeat or fight off Kryptos?”

Bill nodded, “Yup.”

“Bill, that shouldn't be the only reason you want to find your human. If you try to bond with a human with intentions like that, it’ll just end badly. Humans are more perceptive than you realize. They’ll know you're just using them and no bonding will take place.”

“Listen Floppy Disk, leave all that to me, ok? Just help me find them and I’ll do all the rest.”

“I can’t-

“Dot!” Mabel yelled as she opened the door. She froze as she saw Bill was still there.

Dot turned to her, “What is it, Shooting Star?”

Mabel threw one more glance at Bill before she started jumping excitedly, “I got a date!”

“Really? With who?”

“His name’s Norman! He’s super dreamy. We’re going out tonight. You gotta help me pick out what to wear!” She said, smiling.

“I absolutely will!”

Bill cleared his throat and crossed his arms. Dot turned back to him with a glare.

“We’ll talk more later,” Dot said, “but right now, I’ve got to help my human. Like a guardian should.”

Bill glared back at him, “Ugh, fine. But it has to happen today. I don’t want to stick around any longer than usual.”

He left Floppy Disk to play with his human and floated downstairs. The main floor was about as impressive as the rest of the shack. It had a small kitchen with a table, a small living room with a yellow recliner, a tv, and a dining room with a table. Bill guessed it served its purpose as a human house, though.

He found Dipper sitting in the yellow recliner reading some weird looking book. He floated above him and dropped right in front of his face. Dipper screamed and pushed back so hard the recliner fell over.

“Heya, Dipper Pines, whatcha reading?”

Dipper sat up and glared at him sullenly, “Nothing,” he muttered.

“Lemme guess,” Bill looked into the forefront of Dipper’s mind and found him finding the book- no, journal- in the forest, “You went into the forest and found this old journal in the ground.”

Dippers eyes widened, “How did you know that?”

“Easy, I know everything.”

“It’s impossible to know everything,” Dipper argued.

“I know you're afraid of spiders!” Bill said as he rained spiders down upon the boy.

Dipper screamed and ran from the room, clutching the stupid journal. He ran right into Mabel who had just come from upstairs and he moved to stand behind her. 

Mabel turned to glare at Bill, “Ugh, I’ve had it with demons today. You,” she said, pointing at Bill, “stop being mean. You,” she said, turning to point at Dot who was right behind her, “you’re not coming with me.”

The doorbell rang just as she’d finished her rant and she ran to answer it. The boy that was there looked like your typical teenager; bored expression, black hoodie on with his hair swept over his face. Bill had to admit, the gnomes had done a pretty good job.

Mabel squealed, “Hey, Norman!”

“Sup,” said Norman.

“Is that blood on your face?” Dipper asked with disgust.

“It’s jam,” Norman answered.

“Well, we’re going on our date, don’t wait up!” Mabel said as they headed out the door.

“Wait, Mabel,” Dot spoke up.

Mabel shot him a dirty look as she shut the door behind him. Dipper chewed on his lip for a second before he disappeared up the stairs and Bill began laughing. 

“Looks like you’re going to have you hands full here, Floppy Disk,” Bill said as he wiped tears away from his eye.

Dot sighed and rubbed his forehead, “She’s wanted more and more independence from me lately. I guess it’s to be expected what with human puberty and all.”

Bill made a face, “Sounds like yucky business.”

Dot shrugged, “Every being must mature at some point.”

“Right,” he said, drawing out the ‘r’. “Wanna help me find my human now?”

“No.”

“Come on!”

“No, because that’s just a whole other headache that I don’t want to deal with right now.”

Dipper came down the stairs holding a camera. He glanced warily at Bill before leaving quickly out the door.

“What’s his deal?” Bill asked.

Dot gave him a dry look, “Maybe it’s because you torment him every time you see him.”

Bill shrugged, “It’s fun.”

Dot shook his head and he started floating towards the door.

“Where you going?” Bill asked.

“I’ve got to go see what those gnomes want with Mabel before she gets hurt. She might be mad at me but it’s better than her getting hurt.”

Before he could go through the door, it flew open to reveal a panting Dipper. He looked up Dot as he fought for breath, “You’ve got to help Mabel!”

“What’s happened?” Dot asked in alarm.

“Norman is a zombie! Quick! Before he eats her brain!”

Bill felt a strange feeling start to wash over him. He hadn’t felt it for awhile, he recognized it as panic. Why would he be panicking over this Mabel kid?

“He’s not a zombie, Dipper-

“Yes he is! It says right here in the book,” he paused to open the book and show them a page with a zombie figure on it. “I was just outside and I saw his hand fall off! He had to pick it back up and stick it on again!

“Dipper,” Dot said placatingly, “they’re a bunch of gnomes. They’re not usually violent, I doubt they’d hurt her.”

“Gnomes?” Dipper mumbled, “I was way off.”

“Either way, we should go get her. Just in case.”

They left the shack and Bill went with them. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do. Until Square Head spilt the beans on who his human was, he’d follow him around until he annoyed him enough. Dipper got the golf cart from the redhead and they were off in search of Mabel.

As they followed the trail through the woods Dot froze, “Hurry, something’s happened.”

Dipper sped the cart up and followed Dot’s instructions to where Mabel was. It wasn’t long before they heard faint cries for help. As Mabel came into sight Dot sped ahead of the cart and started pushing gnomes away from Mabel who had been tied to the ground.

Dipper slammed on the breaks and got out of the cart, “Hey! Get away from my sister!” He ran towards the gnomes and started batting them away with the shovel he’d gotten from Soos. He missed a gnome and it chomped down hard on his leg, causing Dipper to cry out in pain.

Without even thinking Bill flew to Dipper’s aid and kicked the gnome off him. He turned to face the gnomes and they backed away slowly from him as he grew taller. He felt his voice deepen and he laughed, “Want to try that again, you little bearded freaks?”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Dot had successfully gotten both Dipper and Mabel into the cart. He shrunk back down and flew over to the cart. “Floor it!” He yelled to Dipper who was in the drivers seat.

Dipper did and they sped away. A couple seconds later a rumbling could be heard and they all looked back as a what looked like a huge gnome monster made of little gnomes began chasing them. Gnomes started flying towards them but Bill and Dot deflected them before they could hit the cart.

The gnome monster stopped to pick up a tree and threw it just in front of the gold cart. Dipper swerved and narrowly missed the tree. The cart couldn’t take the force and flipped; it skidded until it stopped right in front of the mystery shack. Bill was shocked when he felt a sharp pain on his side.

“Mabel!” Dot yelled as he flew to help her up.

“I’m fine,” she assured him.

They all turned to face the gnome monster that'd caught up to them.

“Mabel! It’s not too late! Return with us to be our queen!” Jeff exclaimed from the top of the gnome monster.

“As if, you great big jerk!” Mabel yelled back. She turned to look at Dot who slowly nodded at her. She nodded back at him with a determined look in her eyes. She then closed her eyes and Dot began changing. He shifted into a humanoid form that stood just over six feet tall. The body wore a black suit with a blue pinstripe tie. The head was the same Floppy Disk except now he glared up at the gnome monster with all the hostility of a demon.

It kind of made Bill proud if he were perfectly honest.

Dot slowly walked out to stand in front of Mabel, “As if I would ever let the likes of you take Mabel away from me,” he snapped.

The gnome monster roared and threw its fist down right where Dot had been. Except Dot had dodged it with more than enough time. Human eyes probably wouldn't have been able to see him. Bill could barely see him. 

Dot wasted no time. When he’d dodged the monsters first attack, he'd gone behind him. Now he jumped in the air and landed a kick to the top of the monsters head. The kick had so much power it split the monster in two. Gnomes quickly fell out of place and went flying.

In the middle of the chaos Dipper ran forward and grabbed Jeff around the waist. “And this,” he said as he held him up by the back of his little gnome shirt, “is for breaking my sister’s heart.”

He let him drop and punted him across the shack yard and into the forest. Bill was a little impressed, he didn’t think the kid had that level of spunk in him. 

Mabel launched herself at her brother and landed on his back, “Look at you!” She said. Dipper laughed as Mabel almost choked him from the strength of her hug.

Dot floated over in his old form and Mabel let go of Dipper to grab both of Dots hands. She spun him around as she laughed and cried, “You did it! You did it!”

Dot started laughing with her and she pulled him in for a one armed hug. With her other arm she pulled Dipper in by his neck, “You guys are the only boys I’ll ever need.”

Bill kind of felt like he was going to throw up. If he had a mouth, or a bowel system.

“Dot!” Bill called and Dot looked over at him curiously. “Can we talk?”

Dot looked down at the kids, “Go inside, you two, get yourselves cleaned up.”

The kids nodded and walked inside. Dipper’s eyes met Bill’s for a split second before he closed the door behind him.

“How did you do that?” Bill asked, cutting to the chase.

“Mabel leant me her energy. As a being that is tethered to one realm, her stored energy is vast. It’s the power of having a strong connection with your being.”

“Ok, you need to tell me what you know about my human. This time, I’m not asking.”

Dot gazed at him evenly, the bastard didn’t even seem fazed by Bill’s threat, “I think you know who it is.”

“I promise you, I have no clue.”

“I wasn’t sure about it until Duane mentioned my name. I thought it could just be a young demon meddling in other demons affairs. But you’ve been drawn to them since their birth. You’re subconsciously aware of your connection though you’ve refused to acknowledge it for twelve years.”

“You’re not talking about Pine Tree, are you?”

Dot nodded.

“But he’s-

“Your human, yes.”

Bill’s hand came up to rub at his eye. Well shit.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, just a couple things.
> 
> You won't believe how unbelievably difficult it is to write a character that has a triangle for a body and no mouth. I try my best but it's difficult to write what they're doing when their anatomy is not a humans but a shape? Sometimes I cheat a bit like with, 'hands on hips'. They don't technically have hips but its kind of the placing of the hands and the meaning of the gesture I want to get across. Or facial expressions. If the facial expression is also partially expressed with eye I'll use it. Smirking is done with the mouth, yes, but your eye also crinkles a bit when you smirk.
> 
> Basically if you see something that doesn't make sense bc Bill and Dot are geometric shapes, just go with it. I've probably noticed it and just decided to leave it.
> 
> Also, yes, Duane is a pandimensional being that ain't got time for a human societal construct such as gender binaries.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, go check out the official tumblr for this AU - kidsanddemons.
> 
> And I feel like I should say this before anybody invests too much time in this fic. Bill and Dipper aren't going to have a romantic relationship. So if that's what you're really into I'm sorry to disappoint.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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